Need

by: Dagger


Final Fantasy IX is a work of Squaresoft; this fanfiction is a novelisation of one of the scenes from said game.  Obviously it's a big spoiler, so I hope you've gotten to the end of disc three.  The first two parts were revised a tiny bit, and then theres the new third part.

It's rated pg in case you're a kid that doesn't like minor curses and violence... it's nothing bad, I swear. ^^; R/r, if you have time.

-~>=<~-

Zidane Tribal flinched, unconcious, his mind shrouded in cold darkness.  He mentally shunned away memories — memories of encouraging words his allies had spoken in the close past.  He felt sick.  Two voices rung through his ears, calling his name, sounding so unusually surreal.  One voice stuttered, while the other was a high-pitched soprano: the black mage Vivi and the summoner girl Eiko.  He didn't need their friendship.  He was their enemy, an enemy to all the people of Gaia.  He wasn't even human.  Garland had made him — made him to corrupt Gaia.  He couldn't accept their friendship, he couldn't be their friend anymore, and this much he was sure of in his lethargic, painful stupor.

His head hurt.  Unable to bear the persistant cries of ‘Zidane!’, he reached with numb fingers for his short blade, and unlidded his eyes.  He wasn't sure how he got into the chair he was planted in, but as he gazed around with glassy eyes, he saw the whole room was in a rather trashed state.

“Ahh!  Zidane!  Gosh, we thought you were dead!”  Eiko's eyes twinkled — happy that he had finally awoken — as she whirled about him worriedly.  After brief inspection, the blue-haired child frowned with a telltale look that said, ‘you look hurt.’  She put her hands on her hips in mock-anger, as she usually did.

Maybe it would be better off that way for all of us.  “Oh, I...”

“We were so worried!  You shouldn't have gone off alone...”  Vivi's voice was fairly quiet as he interrupted, and the black mage just watched timidly as the tailed boy tried to stand.  “I-I think you need rest right now.”

Who is he to say what I need!?  Why did they all have to care so damned much!?  “Why... what are you... doing here...?”  Zidane stared expectantly at them both, boring holes into their heads with his gaze, voice cracking slightly.  The chair was cramped to sit in... and he felt like someone had hit him in the head with a two-by-four.

“Huh?  Um, we came to save you... of course...?”  Vivi readjusted his faded yellow mage's hat as he usually did, then looked up and took a breath as if to speak again.  Instead, he blinked as Zidane stood, and clumsily brushed past both him and Eiko.

“Zidane!” Eiko cried angrily, trying to grab at his arm.  “It wasn't easy finding you, you know!  You went off all alone!  Now you're just going to leave us!?  How fair is that, Mister Friendship?”

“L... leave me alone.”  It was embarrassing to be seen stumbling along, more clumsy than a black mage, but it would be more embarrassing to take help from these two little idiots, trying to cling to him like little leeches.  Zidane grit his teeth.  “This has nothing to do with you.”

“Ohhh!  I get it!  There he goes, being the big tough guy.  Zidane, listen... it's not just about you, okay?”

“Yeah.  C-c'mon, Zidane.  Don't be like that... let's —”

Zidane spun around and glared fiercely at Vivi.  “Shut up!  Just shut up, you stupid brat!”  He looked away emotionlessly as Vivi stopped in his tracks, wordless at the outburst.  Zidane, himself, barely knew what he was saying.  Across the room now and waiting impatiently for the door to lift, Zidane kicked the wall, blonde bangs hanging lifelessly over his face.  Once the door was open enough to let him pass through, he did so, sparing a gaze behind him, if only to make sure the door closed on Vivi and Eiko's faces as he left.

“Zidane, y-you need rest!”

“Wait!!”

“Will you little twits just shut up!?”  Zidane looked at them as impassively as before as they stood rigid and dumbfounded.  They continued to stare blankly at him, shocked at the lack of friendliness that made Zidane... Zidane.  “Listen, there's some things stupid kids like you can't understand.”  This was one of those things, that was the point he wanted to get across to the little morons.  The pair looked helplessly at their friend's back from behind the barred barrier.

“Grr!”  Eiko kicked the bars fiercely.  “So stupid, going off alone!”

“Zidane, I...”  Vivi sighed solemnly, and hung his head.

-~>=<~-

i don't need you...

i have nothing to teach...

nothing to give...

i cannot think at all...

what is friendship...?

i can't be with you...

because...

i... i am... an empty vessel...

-~>=<~-

Dagger stirred restlessly.

“He can't do anything himself,” someone had muttered beneath their breath.  She had seen their dark, brawny silhouette as they stalked out the door.  Another chimed something about going to find yumyums, and she had also watched, through eyes opened as slits, as the plump figure bounced out.

She didn't want to rest anymore.

“Eiko...?”

“Dagger?”

“Princess! Oh, Princess, you're alive.”

“You've awoken.”

“Eiko, go find him,” Dagger had told the blue-haired girl, ignoring the others' comments.  She only wanted...

Eiko had gone, but now Dagger had this horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach — over a short period of time, everyone had left her, left her to sit on the edge of the bed.  Why was she still here, sitting around doing nothing, when everyone had gone?  They were supposed to do things together...

Her head suddenly lifted from the palms of her hands, and a feeling of dizziness lingered in her head for a long moment.  There was something about this place... Terra.  ...That burning blue light that hauntingly lit everything up... Zidane...

“Zidane...”

-~>=<~-

“Dammit,” Zidane cursed, reeling back violently as a tentacle struck his arm.  A twitching mass of mindless yellow-green tentacles writhed imposingly before him, and as he lifted his dagger above his head and tensed to fight, another tentacle lashed out and smote his previous injury.  He could do it alone.

“Can't you do anything alone?”  Amarant's gruff voice drifted to Zidane's ears, and if Zidane had the time to look around, a cheeky smirk probably quirked up the scarlet-haired man's lips like usual.  He roughly ran a hand through his tangled mess of hair, and tightened his hands into fists.

“Looks like you need some help,” Freya murmured more kindly, letting her javelin get tangled in writhing, verdant tentacles as she plunged it into a sickly green monster.

Zidane pushed himself further, fought fervently.  He didn't need anyone's help...

-~>=<~-

“W-what was...”

“What was wrong with Zidane?  I don't know, Vivi.  He acts so stupid sometimes!”

“I don't think he's himself...”

“Let's just get out of here, then.  He needs us right now.  He's upset or something.  He just needs... friends.”

“O-okay... um, Eiko?”

“Yeah?”  Eiko let out a puff of angry air, and crossed her arms more calmly.  She looked around the room thoughtfully, eyes darting back and forth.

“Do you think he...”  Vivi held either side of his hat nervously, looking up at the summoner girl with hopeful eyes.  “... do you think he wants us to be his friends still?”

“... well... well, yeah!  Don't even worry about that.  I mean, he's always been with us.  He's not that dumb.”  Eiko eyed the black mage.  Zidane had always been their friend — at least since from when they first met.

“...okay,” Vivi said at last.  “I trust you, Eiko.”

-~>=<~-

“Zidane,” Freya said softly to the blonde boy, pulling her spear upright and settling it on her shoulder.  He was facing away from them, shoulders slumped.  He was obviously hurt, and he couldn't deny it, but Freya didn't bother to bring his injuries into question.  “...How foolish of you to go alone.”

“Damn hypocrite, I say,” Amarant said with a half-laugh at his friend's sudden change of heart.  He wanted to be alone now?  Hah.  “You're always talking about friendship, but you're nothing but a selfish loner.”

Their words managed to hurt for some reason, but Zidane didn't show it.  “Leave me alone,” he muttered darkly, arms hanging limp by his sides, his head low.  He took a strained breath and looked over his injuries.  They weren't serious.  Hah, no more than some scratches and bruises.  See, he didn't need their help.  He stood taller.  “I can take care of myself.”

“Zidane...”  Freya's whisper had a pleading tone to it, but she spoke his name in vain.  He was already stalking away, limping worse than he was before the battle, hanging his head.

-~>=<~-

“So weird.”
“T-thanks.”
“I don't understand the way you think.”
“You no have to explain.  I so happy.”
“Thank you, Zidane.”
“That is no way to speak to the Princess!”
“Zidane...”

-~>=<~-

“Ngwahhh!  I will not be defeated so easily!”

“Aiya!  Now I mad!”

“Steiner... Quina... what are you doing...?”  Zidane squinted to make out the two characters thrown into view, who just as quickly jumped up again, with loud shouts of ‘have that’ and ‘taste this’.  “W-wait...”  He didn't want anyone fighting for him.  After staring at the ground in thought, he took a firmer grip on his dagger, and limped beside Steiner and Quina, who were both slicing gashes in an airborne monster that was twice the size of Quina.  “You guys...”

“Zidane!  You're late,” Steiner rumbled, gazing at the tailed boy for a split second and then back to the monster he and Quina were taking turns to attack at.  “Maybe you can give us a hand.”

“We eat this monster, yes yes,” Quina was saying to itself, looking determined and brandishing its sharp mythril fork.  “We eat,” it repeated sagely.

Zidane closed his eyes tightly, lifting his dagger and bringing it down in a sharp blow to his victim.  The monster fell to the ground, became nothingness.  He straightened as best as he could.

“Zidane!  You no can leave us!  You still have to show me lots good food!”

“And I have not yet decided if you're a good man for the princess!  Thank you for your he —”

“Just...” Zidane interrupted Steiner loudly, continuing ahead, leaving two more friends behind, his face stripped of expression.  He didn't really know where he was going — just limping, like an unnatural force pushed him forward, made him stumble along, made him try even harder to breath in the stagnant air of the Pandemonium.  “...just leave me alone. I don't want to trouble you anymore.”

“Wh-what are you talking about?” Steiner stuttered, staring blankly into the distance as the boy staggered, without any more words to offer, away, abandoning Quina and him.  Zidane was different, with a lack of all the things that usually infuriated the knight.  But that's what had made Zidane himself.

“...Not yummy.”

-~>=<~-

Something wasn't right.  Vivi shifted around uncomfortably, seated on the ground, leaning against the wall.  He pulled his floppy hat down further over his eyes with an inaudible sigh.  Eiko was nearby, shaking her head so her blue locks shook, expression distraught.  They couldn't do anything!

“He's gonna get himself hurt, Vivi!”

-~>=<~-

“I thought he usually stuck with his friends,” Amarant muttered suddenly to Freya.  The dragon knight looked up with a troubled frown, tousled locks of hair obscuring her face.  She remained silent.  “We can't stand here forever.”

“I don't believe we can leave, either.”

“Humph.”

-~>=<~-

Babysitting bastards.  He'd get through Garland's little haunted house alive, and he wouldn't need their help.  Yeah, Amarant.  He was a hypocrite.  He knew he was the worst bastard himself, but they were all so laughably stupid to bother caring about him!  If all went as Garland had planned, he would be the one destroying Gaia right now.  He was no better than Kuja!

An unattractive quasi-dragon, with great and nearly unbreakable shell plates covering all of its body, glowered downwards at Zidane.  A twinge of pain eddied throughout his body, but the Genome still forced himself into an appropriate fighting stance.  Even as he began to effectively tear rapidly at the beast, he didn't defend himself from an incoming harsh blow.  Unprepared for a surge of pain suddenly racking through his body, he was thrown to the ground with the impact, meeting the ground with a thump.

His already throbbing head hit the ground with a painful thud, and it took much strength for Zidane to roll onto his side and stare into the two beady, malevolently gleaming black eyes of the shell dragon.

“D-dammit...”

“...Zidane.”  With a surreal twinkle, the magic of the pain-quelling curaga spell enveloped him, then abruptly disappeared off into the air.  Zidane winced slightly as he shifted his weight.  Who was it...?  He had to get up and fight...

Was that... Dagger...!?

The orange-clad girl's gaze flickered to Zidane for a moment, expression unreadable — but soon she furrowed her eyebrows into a frown and turned to the monster, staff brandished.  “Is this how you want to solve the problem?”  Her voice was angry.

...No.  No, this wasn't how he wanted to solve it all.

Zidane didn't dare break the tense silence between him and Dagger now, but he did force himself back up.  Narrowly evading a last-ditch effort kind of blow from the monster, he stabbed and cruelly twisted his dagger into the gigantic beast's neck while it was so conveniently close.  With a pained cry, it thumped to the ground.

“Dagger...”

“You try to do everything by yourself, don't you?”  Her voice was cool, and she loosened her grip on her wooden rod.

“Come on,” Zidane pleaded, looking at the ground.  “Try to understand this... I just... I don't want to cause any more trouble to you all.”

“I'm trying to understand what's going on inside your head right now, but... Zidane, aren't we your friends!?”

“I want to think so!” he retorted, holding a hand to his pained head.  It wouldn't stop throbbing; if only she could understand...  “I'm not from Gaia, alright?”  He ignored her rapid blinking, continuing persistantly, “I mean, I was just a hairbreadth from becoming the destroyer of Alexandria, your home!  I can't accept your friendship so easily!”

Dagger took in a breath at his words, and took a moment to collect her thoughts.  She turned away from him and shook her head solemnly.  “I don't care what was supposed to happen... you didn't do anything wrong.  You've always protected us, Zidane, but you still don't understand that we looked out for you, too!  We... we want to protect you!”  She faced him and shook her head again, eyes glittering as brightly as her royal pendant often did in the sunlight.  Was she... crying?  “We don't want to leave you.  You would never hurt us.  Zidane, you're not alone and you don't have to be!”

“Oh, Dagger...”  He wanted to hug her, and tell her that he didn't want to be alone.  He didn't want to be without his friends... without her.  Maybe she already knew, judging by the understanding look on her face, her beautiful face.  Before he got the chance to step closer to her, Quina burst through the entrance.

“You say it!  My master tell me, somebody give you tasties, you give them tasties, too.  Is good manners!  Besides, I still not cook you succulent frog yet, Zidane!”

“Quina...”

He soon found Steiner beside him, offering him an amicable smile — a smile? for him? — and a sagacious nod to previous words spoken.  “Chivalry requires a knight to look after his comrades-in-arms.  I will not abandon you!  And I shall follow you to kingdom come if I must.  You remember that!”

Steiner...?

“Steiner...?”  Zidane looked upwards and laughed.  “Hah... what am I gonna do with you guys?”

“The feeling is mutual!” Steiner guffawed in a strangely assuring tone.

“Let's go, then!”  Dagger's face was no longer sad as it was moments before; she was smiling at Zidane.  She gripped her staff with both hands all of a sudden, looking suspiciously towards the doorway.  “But... where are the others?”

Zidane felt a little twinge of guilt rise in his stomach.  “You don't think... they've been trapped?”

“It possible...”  Quina shook its tongue urgently.

“You should not have left them!” Steiner added in, his plates of armor clacking together as he made gestures towards the direction from whence they all came.

“That's right!  I mean,” and Dagger waved around her staff once, “really...”

“Awww.”  Zidane couldn't help but offer the trio his usual quirky smirk and a lift of his eyebrows — yeah, he was himself.  “I'm sorry.  Let's go, then — together.”  Quina lilted a few steps ahead, and Steiner soon followed.  He noticed Dagger step closer and fall into step with him.

“I'm glad you're... you know, back.”

He couldn't think of anything to say.  He just nodded dumbly, brushing stray strands of flaxen hair away from his face.  “...yeah.  Me, too.”

“Thanks for staying with us, Zidane.”

-~>=<~-

Fin.  Didn't know how else to end it... ^^;;  This seemed kinda darker than it should have been, to me.  o_o  Oh well, now I can work on my new FFIX fic (yuh, another, but this one's gonna be my own plot XDDD).  Oh, and don't kill me because I'm not good at writing battles / monsters / spells, because it's all... fantasy and stuff... I was never good at writing that kind of thing.  Sorry... -_-;  Oh well, happy times. ^_^