CHAPTER SIX

"It’s kinda dark here."

"Yeah, we noticed that too. But It’s okay, the darkness won’t hurt you."

"B-but…where am I? I wasn’t in this place before I fell asleep…"

"We know. That’s how it happened for us too. But it’s natural. At least that’s what we were told. This isn’t a bad place at all. It’s just…unfamiliar. You’ll get used to it after a while. And at least we all have each other to talk to, right?"

"I-is this…a dream?"

"…"

Red. Blue. Black, oh a lot of black.

"B-but…I don’t wanna be here! I have so much left to do!"

"We can’t let you go. We don’t think anyone’s supposed to go back after they get here, but…then again you always were special."

More black. It was almost all he could…see?

"I can’t stay here…I need to leave. T-this isn’t the right place for me yet. N-not now."

"But what are you planning on doing? We’ve seen your actions and they’re very noble. But…unless you find the one who created us you have no chance."

"T-that’s what I was gonna do. I was gonna go looking for him and ask him to help me…US.

B-but now I can’t do that…"

Red again. Deep, crimson feeling of anger and pain. It seemed to be flowing out from where he felt he was. What is this…?

"I-I’m not giving up. How do I get outta here?"

"…"

"HOW?!"

"…We don’t know. If we did we’d certainly tell you, but…"

"Y-you’re no help. None at all. I’m leaving."

Blue…sorrow….

"We’re…sorry."

"I know. I am too. But I have to do something…"

"W-what?"

"I-I’m trying…"

"…."

"…Die?"

White. Pure brilliant white, enveloping the place where he rested. It grew in intensity until…until…

"Vivi!!!"

Eiko jumped on him and caught him up in a hug so tight the little black mage could barely breathe. Freya, Dagger, and Steiner were all gathered around Vivi’s bed in the guest room of Alexandria palace, worried looks painted on their faces. Tears had left lines down Dagger and Eiko’s faces.

"H-hello," Vivi offered, not knowing what else to say.

"You had us quite scared there, master Vivi," Steiner said. "You sleep rather…soundly."

"Don’t sugarcoat things, Steiner," Dagger retorted, then turned to Freya. "Why didn’t you tell me this sooner? That he’s been…stopping…?"

"Because we weren’t sure of the true cause of Vivi’s behavior," the Dragon Knight replied. "And because…one hates to admit truths like these to oneself, I suppose."

Eiko sat on top of the tiny black mage. "Vivi’s not gonna die, Dagger. He’s gonna live."

The others simply stood, silent. Dagger and Freya exchanged glances, emotions swirling in their eyes that would not be spoken and given life.

"This changes nothing," Dagger said, breaking the silence and causing heads to snap her way. "Vivi, you have a quest to complete and I will be there when you do so. I’m going with you three."

Immediately Steiner puffed himself up for a speech.

"Y-your Highness, you simply cannot go galavanting about the planet as we did six months ago. You are now a queen, and as such it is my responsibility to say to you that I will not have—"

"Steiner!"

He immediately straightened and faced Dagger, saluting in his own clumsy way.

"I am a big girl. I will do what I want, when I want, with who I want, and no one will tell me otherwise. You and Beatrix may handle state affairs yourself, Steiner. I am confident in your abilities and am sure you’ll both do fine. Do I make myself clear on all of this, Adelbert Steiner?"

Eiko looked up. "Do you have to say his name a million times for him to pay attention? Is that what I missed?"

"Y…..yes, your highness," Steiner gave in.

Dagger looked at him compassionately. "I am sorry Steiner, but that has begged to be said for some time. I am capable of taking care of myself and you are capable of getting along a while without me."

In spite of himself, Steiner smiled. "Yes, your highness."

"So," Freya cut in. "What now? Do we head for the Desert Palace as planned?"

"I don’t see why not," Dagger agreed. "But again, this is Vivi’s decision. Vivi, do you want to go to the Palace? Still?"

He sat up as much as he could with Eiko on his stomach.

"Y-yeah. If Kuja might be there then I think we should go."

Eiko jumped off him and bounded out the door, humming to herself. Steiner followed, leaving Freya and Dagger alone with the tiny mage.

"What h-happened?" Vivi asked, his voice shaky despite his efforts to hide his fear. "Was I…dead?"

Freya and Dagger exchanged glances again.

"I think we should be honest with you, Vivi," the Dragon Knight said, kneeling down to meet his eyes.

"We do think you’re beginning to….stop. You did it at the Dragon’s gate in Lindblum, and since then Eiko and I have been wary. We’ve watched you to make sure you wouldn’t do it again. But…we became careless when we arrived here. You stopped in your sleep and Eiko could not wake you up…

"She came to me crying and barely understandable. So we all came to the room and found you…"

"I stopped, huh?" Vivi innocently inquired.

Freya bowed her head, then nodded. "Yes, Vivi. You stopped in your sleep some time last night."

"Oh," he said to himself. "So it wasn’t a dream I was having."

Dagger looked down on Vivi with kind eyes.

"Not a dream, no. Dreams are mostly good, sweet things that never end. You wake up from them in the morning and feel light from the memory of them. Vivi, what happened to you over the course of last night can only be described as a nightmare."

Vivi looked up quizzically. "N-nightmares? Eiko never told me about those. Are they bad, Dagger?"

She nodded. "Bad, yes, Vivi. Nightmares happen when something bad is going on in your life. They’re like indicators of the pain you feel."

He seemed to smile. "So…I was only having a nightmare last night? And I wouldn’t wake up because of the pain?"

"No, Vivi," Freya said. "You—"

He laughed.

"Freya, listen. I was only having a nightmare last night, okay? Just a bad dream. And when it happens for real it won’t be a nightmare, okay?"

The Dragon Knight smiled hesitantly, now knowing what he was saying.

"Okay, Vivi. I get it. But we should be preparing for our trip. Shall we?"

She motioned toward the door. Vivi slid off the bed and headed out; Freya and Dagger stayed behind a moment.

"Are you sure we can handle this?" Dagger asked, staring after Vivi. "Watching him…die?"

"We all knew this was coming." Freya replied. "I know how painful it will be. But all we can do is be here. I’m sure he’s being strong for us. He’s done it before."

"But maybe someone needs to tell him that he doesn’t need to be strong anymore."

Freya stared at the floor.

"I have no idea what to do, Dagger. I’m scared. It feels as though I’m losing a child or something. But…I know how Vivi feels. He’s already made peace with his…stopping. Perhaps we should follow his example?"

"You have no idea what you’re asking, Freya."

When the Dragon Knight looked back up, tears soaked her face.

"I think I understand fairly well these days."

Dagger began crying again and embraced her companion. They wept on each other’s shoulders for a while, each showing something of themselves in that moment that no battle could.

When they’d finished, Dagger pulled back to look Freya in the eye.

"This will be our greatest test as friends, Freya Crescent. But I am confident we will do wht must be done. Now, we need to go. Everyone is waiting on us, I’m sure."

EVERYTHING, including Janet, was loaded and ready on the Hilda Garde III in the matter of an hour. It was enough time for Dagger to dole out reassurances and Beatrix to issue subsequent threats. Freya didn’t take that well. The two of them had been respectful enemies for some time-for what reason speculation failed to reveal-and they were only courteous to each other for Dagger and Steiner’s sake.

After word was received that the ship was fully loaded, the party of four went to depart. Freya boarded first, her sense of direction more acute and thus landing her in the cockpit for the trip. Eiko took her position glued to a window. Dagger and Vivi boarded at once and took position in the belly of the ship. Dagger had resolved not to leave Vivi, just as Freya had on the way to Alexandria. Vivi was not to be left alone; one of the girls would be with him at all times. Vivi wouldn’t know this was the plan of course, but it was nonetheless.

Hilda Garde III took off flawlessly, and the party was on their way to the Outer Continent. Stranglely enough where Vivi had actually started his journey. Hopefully the Desert Palace would hold Kuja…and quite possibly Zidane.

That subject sparked interest in Dagger. She looked at Vivi, who was sitting with his hands in his lap staring at them.

"Vivi…do you miss Zidane?"

The tiny mage looked up at her. His yellow eyes reflected something…distant.

"Y-yeah. I do sometimes. Like when I’m talking to Mikoto in the village, or if I sit down and think a lot. I miss him so much…more than I thought I did.

"What about you, Dagger?"

She sighed, knowing he’d ask her that.

"I miss him so much. I hope every day when I wake up that he’ll come bounding into the palace screaming ‘Dagger!’ and that he’d argue with Steiner forever like he always did.

"But instead I wake up alone, with Steiner right outside my door refusing to budge. So yes, I miss him. More than I’m ready to admit to myself, I’m afraid."

She looked at Vivi a moment.

"Do you think maybe Kuja and Zidane are still together? That Zidane still hasn’t left him alone?"

Vivi lost himself in thought a minute.

"I dunno…I hope so though. I wanna see Zidane so bad…"

"Me too, Vivi," Dagger seconded. She beckoned for him to come closer and when he did, she drew him up into a tight hug. Vivi giggled into Dagger’s shoulder and hugged back.

"I am so proud of you, Vivi. This is not something I’d expect from you. But I know you’ll succeed. With a soul as strong as yours how could you fail?"

"T-thank you, Dagger," he said.

She drew back from him, smiling.

"So what now? You want to go up top and look at the continents underneath us? Get a look at the world we helped restore?"

Vivi nodded. "S-sure, Dagger. That’d be nice."

She took his hand and walked with him, still watching him closely.

You’re being so strong, she thought. He looked at her then and she dismissed right away the idea that he might’ve heard her thoughts.

She found herself thinking of Zidane again. Hopefully he was well, perhaps helping Kuja to heal from the wounds he’d brought on himself. Zidane seemed so compelled to save Kuja when the Iifa tree went mad. Of course why wouldn’t Zidane feel that way? Underneath it all he and Kuja were the same. If things were reversed, Kuja would’ve probably saved Zidane too.

Oh wel, she thought. No use in lamentation. What was important now was Vivi.

They reached the cockpit just in time for the Mist Continent to disappear under the ship’s belly. Vivi headed up to stand beside Freya and watch the sky fold around him.

He rambled on and on about how pretty the sky and land is from the window of an airship. How it seemed like you could se the whole world out that one wondow. Freya smiled sweetly and nodded her agreeance.

Dagger slipped out silently while Vivi was rambling. She needed to get away somewhere…to cry.