Someone was standing in his thinking place.
Vivi caught his step before he fell, then paused, head tilted to watch. There was most certainly someone standing in his thinking place.
It must be a good thinking place, then, if other people come to think here too. I shouldn't bother them.
He took a step backward, which proved to be a bit too much for his motor skills. Half a second later, the young black mage found himself sprawled out in the damp grass at the stream-side.
The person standing in his thinking place turned to look at him. As if they had been waiting for him. Vivi staggered to his feet at once, trying to brush off his trousers and adjust the rim of his hat at the same time.
"I was sure I would find you here, Vivi."
"U-uh… um…" It was as if every thought in his mind suddenly vanished. He could only stare up at the sound of the voice.
Mikoto.
Zidane had once told Vivi that Mikoto was his sister. But it was really hard to believe that Zidane and Mikoto could be related.
Her eyes were pretty. But very, very sad. Not like Zidane's. Zidane had laughing eyes. Most of the time.
Zidane used to smile a whole lot. Vivi didn't ever remember seeing Mikoto smile. Not once. Vivi always wanted to try to make Mikoto smile, but he was too scared that she might get mad at him for it. If she smiled, maybe she would look more like Zidane.
Suddenly, Vivi found himself missing Zidane a whole lot.
It was strange for Mikoto to come to him to talk. She was very quiet. Which was sorta sad, because he had really wanted to make friends with Zidane's sister. Of course, all the Genomes were quiet at first, but now most of them were becoming a bit more friendly. The Mages enjoyed their company, and the Genomes seemed to get along well with the Mages. Everything seemed to be working out.
"Are you okay?" The girl asked. If there had been emotion in the voice, Vivi would have thought she was actually worried for him.
"U-uh.. y-yeah. I'm okay." He told her, finally finding his voice. "You… need to see me for something?"
Mikoto simply looked at him for a moment, delicate face framed by the loose golden wisps of her hair, eyes unendingly blue. She was thinking. Vivi knew what someone looked like when they were thinking. So he waited.
"I…" She began finally. "I must know."
Vivi thought it was an odd reply. So he waited a little longer.
"I must know if he…" The girl was obviously having a hard time saying what she wanted to say.
Vivi knew how she felt. That happened to him a lot.
"I must know if Zidane.. my.. brother.." She stumbled over the word as if it was something strange to say, "If.. my brother is alive."
Mikoto turned her back to him suddenly. Vivi could see her body shivering, and he knew she was trying not to cry. But he didn't say so because she wanted to hide it from him. Something sad inside him wanted to reach a hand out to her. He suddenly remembered how nice it felt the time Dagger hugged him when he was crying. But Vivi knew Mikoto probably wouldn't like it if he tried to hug her. She would probably be mad. So he just stood there, listening to the windmill creaking from overhead.
When she finally turned back to him, her eyes were red. Her expression dared him to say anything about it.
He didn't. Instead he asked. "How are you planning to find Zidane?"
Mikoto's tail twitched slightly at its tip. It was something Zidane's tail used to do too. The movement fascinated Vivi.
"I do not know." She was watching him carefully. "I was hopping you might have the same desire. That you might also want to find him. And that you might have an idea where to start."
This is getting confusing.
Vivi turned his eyes to the ground, shaking his head slightly. Then he looked back up at Mikoto.
"I-I… haven't thought about anything like that, actually."
Her eyes were even more sad than before.
"That d-doesn't mean I don’t want to find Zidane, though. I really really miss him, too." Vivi assured her. "It's just that…"
Do I really want to know? What if Zidane isn't alive? At least I can pretend he is okay.. as long as I don't know the truth…
"You think he is dead then?" Mikoto seemed to be reading his thoughts.
Vivi jerked his head up quickly. "N-no! Zidane is alive! He must be! H-he.. just has to be!" Surprised, the black mage found himself motioning widely with his hands.
He hadn't realized how much Zidane's absence had been bothering him.
"That is what I think too."
"I-I mean.. I want to believe that…I want to very much."
She frowned, merely a slight wrinkle to her brow. "Choose. Either you think he is alive or you think he is dead. Simply wishing for something cannot make it true."
Vivi shook his head. "D-don't you… have anything you want to be true more than anything else? I think it's called.. h-hope.. Don't you have any hope, Mikoto?"
"Hope? Ridiculous concept."
"B-but.. you just said that you hoped that Zidane was still alive. Didn't you?"
She simply looked at him for a moment. "Why would it matter what I hope? If Zidane is alive, then he is alive. If Zidane is dead, then no matter how hard I hope, it cannot bring him back. Hope is a ridiculous concept."
Vivi stood quietly.
"Well.. it's much nicer to have hope."
Then he began to walk away.
"You will not help me then?" Her voice followed him.
The young black mage paused. "I'll help. I... want to. J-just.. let me figure out where to start."
Vivi left her standing there alone. He needed time to think.