"Um, Mikoto… G-Garland's… scaring me."
"Why?" She asked the little Mage.
Vivi hunched down into his big-brimmed hat, one little fist clutching at the rim. Sometimes this made him feel better.
"He keeps talking about the spirits of the… stopped Mages…"
"What?" Mikoto wrinkled her nose. "How.. distasteful."
Garland had a strange look on his face when Vivi had met the boy, jogging along the planked walkways of the village last night. The young Mage and Mikoto had been on their way from the chocobo field to find Garland at Mr. 44's house, but the boy had found them instead. The moment he saw them, he had grabbed Vivi by the collar and begun to rant in a strange, frightening way.
"I-I'm scared that somehow seeing Mr. 44's… um.. death… is having a very bad effect on Garland. He's doing strange things. He keeps asking me to come out to the graveyard with him.." Vivi shook his head. "I… I… don't really wanna go out there right now… Not after…"
It happens to everyone. You know it does. There is nothing to stop it.
"Do you want me to talk to him, Vivi?" She asked, putting her hands sternly on her hips.
"N-no…" Vivi could imagine what might happen then. Mikoto and Garland didn't get along very well. "Maybe with time.. he'll figure things out. He just needs time to think."
Death… is the only thing we Black Mages share with real living creatures. It's the only thing that is natural about us…Life… then… death…
"If you are sure?"
"It'll be okay. You.. look tired.." The little Mage spoke slowly. "You should get some sleep. We've been up all n-night."
"I…" Mikoto looked over to him. "I do not think I will be able to sleep… But, I feel you may be correct. Discontinuance time is in order."
"P-please use the back room.." Vivi offered. "That way, if you wake up and start to feel… you know… strange again… you won't have to go very far to find someone."
Mikoto tilted her head towards him. There was a shimmer of appreciation in her blue eyes. Taking up the offer, the girl made her way towards the back room.
Vivi was left alone with his thoughts.
You know you are going to stop too. Someday. And it probably won't be too far away. You've known this for a long long time. So why are you still afraid?
Vivi twisted the tip of his hat between his fingers.
Because... there is a difference between thinking about something and actually seeing it happen. I've never actually seen a Mage stop… Do I have a right to feel like this, then? Maybe it's the right way to feel after all.
What would Zidane say?
Vivi thought hard.
'Why worry about it?' That's what Zidane would say…. 'If you can't stop it, then you're just wasting your time worrying about it.' And that's a bad thing… since there isn't much time. It should be used for living.. not for worrying about stopping…
Vivi sighed. It made sense. But..
I'm still scared. More than a little.
He sat down on his favorite pillow. It was in a sunny corner of the room, the warmest part of his house. From the window he could see the windmill turning in the distance. He loved to watch the windmill turn.
I wish you were here Zidane. You always know what to do…
The sound of footsteps made him turn his head.
It was Garland.
The boy must have finally woken up. His hair was all messy like hair gets when someone has been sleeping. His clothes were wrinkled and still speckled with dirt from the day before. He didn't smell very good either.
"Hello, Garland."
"Hello, Vivi…" Garland still seemed to be a little afraid of him. He was keeping his distance across the room.
His eyes were very sad.
"I thought… maybe everything was just a bad dream from last night. But.. when I woke up here, in your house, I knew it had all really happened…"
Vivi stood slowly. He wanted to tell Garland that he was sad about Mr. 44, too. But Vivi didn't know how to say it. It probably wouldn't help Garland feel any better.
"Are you hungry?" The little Mage asked instead. He walked to the little wooden bin, and pulled out a nectar fruit. Then he pulled out another and handed the first to Garland.
The boy took the fruit between both hands, seeming not to see it at all. He was thinking. Deep deep thoughts.
When Garland finally did bite into it, he did not seem to notice he was eating at all.
"Vivi…" He spoke with his mouth full.
The little Mage looked up.
"You won't let them… bury Mr. 44 will you?"
"W-w…?"
What a strange question!
"You don't w-want Mr. 44 to be buried?" Vivi blinked.
The boy frowned. "No! I told you last night! He's not dead!"
"Um…." Vivi scratched his head.
It made no sense to him at all.
"Garland…" He tried to say it as gently as possible. "Mr. 44… he is.. dead. You.. you .. were there last night, remember?"
"You didn't listen to anything I told you, did you?" The boy finished with the fruit, and dropped the core. Right in the middle of the floor. "I talked to Mr. 44 after he stopped last night. He's still here! His spirit is still here! And so are the spirits of all the other Mages!"
Somehow, Garland was beginning to really upset Vivi. He felt his hands shaking again. Just when he had thought he was feeling a little better, too.
"Vivi.. listen to me… I mean it.. I really--"
"Garland!" Vivi was shocked at the sound of his own voice. It scared him. He began to cry. "T-they.. can't be alive.. they've stopped.. they're all gone… all gone..!"
Garland just stared at him. Vivi didn't care if anyone saw him cry. Not now.
The boy spoke slowly. "Vivi… are you… scared?"
"W-why.. wouldn't I be?" The little Mage sniffled.
"Because, you're… you're…Vivi! You're supposed to be… really… really brave and powerful.. and all that. I thought you weren't scared of anything!"
"You're w-wrong…" Vivi pulled his hat down around his face. "I-I… I'm no different than anyone else here. T-they just make me sound like I'm someone… um… special."
Garland was looking at him strangely. "Don't cry, Vivi. I didn't mean to make you cry… Will it help if I say I'm sorry?"
"It's not really your fault. Not really. Don’t say s-sorry. I'm.. okay.."
Garland sighed slowly. "I'm still sorry. I know it's going to be hard for you to believe. But I'm tellin' you the truth…"
Vivi couldn’t think of anything to say.
"They're really there, Vivi. He said Mr. 36 said that everyone just can't hear or see them, but they're really there."
"Mr. 36…?"
"Yeah…"
Garland never knew Mr. 36…
The boy was staring at him intently. Vivi could see he wanted for him to believe his words very much.
"I-I… don't know…"
"Don't you understand?" Garland was ranting again. " If-if.. only we could figure it all out.. we might be able to.. to learn how to make more Mages! Then we'd all have more friends!"
Something about that upset Vivi more than the thought of the Mages stopping.
"N-no.." He shook his head.
"What do you mean, no?"
"It's not right… to make another creature. All the hurt that has come to us is because we… we're… not supposed to exist." Vivi stared off through the window. "I… hated Kuja. I h-hated him because he made us. And for the reasons he made us. To m-make more Mages… would make us no better than Kuja was…"
"Would it?"
"I d-don't know."
"Vivi…please.."
The little Mage had to look at him.
Garland's voice was so sad. "Why… won't you believe me?"
Something inside him knew..
Garland is telling the truth...
Vivi began to cry.